I’ve been Gerkin’ very hard on this week’s post.
Let me set the scene. You have just crafted a beautiful gift for a friend or loved one. Its wrapped, but holy macaroni – you forgot to grab a card!
Do you remember when you were a kid, you would receive a wrapped gift? Your heart would pump so fast that you would lay an egg. Just when you were about to tear into the wrapping your mother would scream “READ THE CARD FIRST!” This confused me no end: 1) I couldn’t read; and 2) even at the age of four, I knew the chances of a tattslotto scratchie being inside were small. Those types of cards are handed to you separate from a gift – everyone knows that!
I might be getting sentimental in my old age, but you are never going to buy a card better than one you make yourself. Hand-made cards are also practically impossible to throw away. Seriously, you would have to be pretty empty to throw away a card someone made for you. Think about it. Someone has crafted this card FOR YOU! They have glitter under their fingernails, in their hair and carpet, FOR YOU!
I can hear you saying now, “I don’t have time!” Are you kidding me? You don’t have time to draw a stick figure on the inside of an old cereal packet and scribble down a heartfelt message?
I implore you, get out those Derwent’s 32 piece colour pencils your parents gave you in Grade 6 for Christmas and make your own cards. At the very least, I’m sure you own a sharpie!
Below are some dad jokes and bad puns to get you started. Also, because I love you, and we all love free things, I have also created some cards for you to down load and use at whim.
- I’m off, and I’m leaving as well (only my all-time favourite saying) (Bon Voyage card)
- What Do You Get From A Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk! (Thank-you card)
- Full as a fat ladies sock (Thank-you card – perhaps a nice thank-you for dinner)
- To avoid that run-down feeling, look both ways when crossing the street. (Get Well Soon)
- Where Do You Find A Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him. (I don’t know in what instance you could use this, but I LIKED IT!)